once you go Black
by heigei
Summary: Sirius and Remus are left alone yet again by their mates. Sirius is nothing but bored, and on top of that: he's up for a snog. He's also heard that Remus is quite the kisser. Remus resents that. He would much rather read his book in peace. Oneshot.


"I feel like snogging", Sirius announced, causing at least twelve females to turn all their attention to the boy sitting by th

"I feel like snogging", Sirius announced, causing at least twelve females to turn all their attention to the boy sitting by the fire.

"Is that so", Remus said, his nose in a book, obviously not giving a damn.

This was the fourth night they were alone together, since James and Peter had to stay up late at the dungeons cleaning jars and bottles after an _incident _with Snape and his robes.

One morning he woke up, and found a whole closet full of Gryffindor-red robes. Of course, Sirius never went _near _Snapes' robes, and like always, James and Peter had to pay.

"Yes", Sirius said with a look of despair.

"Well, unbutton your shirt and snap your fingers", Remus said, still not looking up from his book. "I'm sure they all will line up to lick your tonsils."

Sirius gave the girls at the table closest to the fire a quick glance.

"Nah, I've already licked _their_ tonsils", he said, grinning. He looked at Remus. "I'm not in the habit of recycling."

"Of course not", Remus said, still not giving a damn.

"There's no fun in that. But.." Sirius began with a sly voice, his grin growing even bigger as he spoke. "There's one thing that I haven't tried before."

"I'm sure there is."

Suddenly, Sirius' hand was on Remus' thigh. And, finally, Remus looked up from his book. He stared at Sirius' hand for a second, frowning slightly.

"Sirius, what on earth are you doing?" He looked at his friend, remaining calm.

"Getting your attention", Sirius explained, still not removing his hand. Remus sighed.

"You could've just cut your wrists or something, like ordinary people do", Remus said, looking down at the hand again. "Sexually assault your friend isn't the way to go, you know."

Sirius moved his hand a little further up, and Remus eyes widened.

"Seriously, are you under the Imperius-curse or something", he asked, voice slightly unsteady, face turning pink.

"I just thought it would be fun experimenting", he stated, while tilting his head a little to the left.

"I'm sure this is a revenge-prank on Snapes behalf", Remus continued, he tried to remain cool, but it was quite hard when your best friend was feeling you up. "We'll sort it out, if you just would remove your hand."

"Shan't", Sirius said. His stale grey eyes were almost glowing under the black fringe, and Remus had to look away, still blushing. God this was awkward.

"Well why the bloody hell not?"

"For starters: there isn't a single girl _not_ watching us right now, not wanting to be us, not wanting us to continue", he said, slowly caressing Remus inner thigh, sending shivers down his spine.

"Fags tend to turn women on", he then added, frowning. "Don't ask me why. Women are mysterious creatures."

Remus stared at Sirius as if he'd gone mad. He couldn't possible be serious, could he? The whole situation was so odd he had to laugh, a nervous laughter, but he stopped almost instantly.

"And, of course, I couldn't help but overhearing a conversation a group of Slytherinboys had this morning."

"You were eavesdropping, as usual", Remus corrected him. Sirius grinned. He moved closer to Remus, leaning in, his lips only inches apart from Remus' ear.

"They said you were quite the kisser", he whispered. Remus face turned from pale pink to bright red.

"Hey, it's nothing to be ashamed of!" Sirius said, leaning back again, still grinning. "And I must say, the idea excites me a little."

"The idea of what", Remus wanted to know, while fighting the urge to screw Sirius' brains out, and on the same time trying to force himself into removing Sirius' hand.

"We don't have anything better to do", Sirius continued, ignoring Remus' question. "And, you have to face it, darling. You're madly, insanely in love with me."

Remus woke up. And he snapped.

"You're so full of bollocks!" He stood up. Angry at Sirius, angry at himself. "You stupid git! The world does not evolve around you. Not everyone wants you, you know. _I_ don't want you."

Sirius stood up; he smiled, took hold of Remus' sweater and pulled him closer.

"Yes you do", he said, and then he kissed Remus hard on the mouth. Remus moaned in protest, and when he finally seemed to give in, he freed himself from Sirius' grip.

And he slapped Sirius across the face.

"Sod off", he hissed, before stomping off to the dormitories.

Sirius laughed, and looked after him. He took a look at his reflection in the window, his cheek were still red after the blow. He shook his head, and gave the girls at the other table a glance. They'd been watching all along, with an expression of utter surprise.

"He's just angry 'cause he knows that he'll never be able to kiss another male ever again", he explained to them, smiling. They all blushed furiously.

"Once you go Black, you never go back."

Then he set off after Remus. To tame the beast.


End file.
